A moment of realization at the kitchen sink.

While painting my living room this past weekend I was jamming out to Pandora and fell upon a beautiful song, India Arie's "There's Hope". I was washing my paint brushes in the kitchen and she sang "He said, what's it like in the USA, and all I did was complain, He said - livin' here is paradise, He taught me paradise is in your mind, You know that". When I heard that the phrase just rang through my mind, the light bulb came flickering on. This made me think no matter where I go, where I work, who I am with, I will always have the same mind, things aren't going to change if I move some place different, I am not going to find happiness some place else, the only place happiness or paradise can be found is within my own mind.
After the song finished I stood by the sink, my mind spinning, thinking of all the times I had been mean or hurtful because I thought things weren't right, how all I wanted was to be someplace else and how selfish that was. I realized that happiness is MY choice, which means to me that I am no longer going to be petty. I am no longer going to fume over the dirty dishes in the sink, the pile of clothes in the bedroom, the recycle overflowing, why sacrifice my paradise for these trivial things? Why be filled with frustration at my husband? Those things just aren't important.
 I married the man of my DREAMS, LITERALLY! Many many years ago I prayed the most important prayer of my life, asking God to bring Noah and I's hearts together, to have him see me, to feel my love, I promised God if he was mine I would cherish him forever and always hold him in my heart. He is one of my life's greatest blessings and I am ashamed to say too often I forget that. I go crazy over life's mundane things in an attempt for "peaceful paradise" but now I realize paradise isn't where you live or how you live it's how you think. I am challenging myself to remember that I am walking on a perfect beach with my best friend by my side every day in my mind.

I choose my life
I make my happiness
I am in my paradise

Don't forget that Brittany.